apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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