It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Randomize
