sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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