Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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