he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
