I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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