Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
There's even glitter on my cock...
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