you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize