I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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