Christians are straight up FREAKS
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
