so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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