Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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