does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize