you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
