I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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