i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You may now shotgun with the bride
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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