She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
