I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
