genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
A bitchslap is in order.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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