I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
