is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
