i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
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Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
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there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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