I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
