Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
