So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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