You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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