'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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