i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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