you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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