im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Shame - the story of my life.
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