so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
