If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize