I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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