i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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