the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
