i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
