I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
