I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
