So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i think i just lost a toe
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize