What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
