My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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