The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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