He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
