Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
