you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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