We need to rekindle our bromance
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
