wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
