Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Randomize
