Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
