Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize