i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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