operation have a gay friend backfired
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
