God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
