ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
