I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
