Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
