false alarm. still invincible.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
