i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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