I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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