The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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