I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
