New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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