I think I died a long time ago.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
